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It's not how I will think of you. You're Spencer. That's all. That's enough." Easy to say now," he muttered."When did you first think you might be gay?" I asked again.He shrugged, not looking up. "Maybe I've always known," he said quietly. "I don't think it really entered into my conscious brain until last year." What happened last year?" I prompted.He gave a short bark of humorless laughter. "Cynthia happened." Cynthia?" You remember her. Little Japanese girl I went out with last year?" Sure," I said. "I thought she was cute." So did I, actually. Then, one night we were at a place in town, disco night at a hotel. She was in a mood, feeling wild. We got a little drunk, and she picked up another guy. Took us both up to our hotel room." He looked chagrined, even gazing down at his forgotten cup of tea. "I discovered I liked being with the guy more than I liked being with her that night. That pissed her off, believe me. But it kicked off a period of discovery for me." That's when you. ‘Why didn’t you tell me? Where is he? I mean—how is this possible?’ ‘He’s been on vacation with my parents since you came home,’ she explained quickly, calmly. ‘As for why I didn’t tell you, Luke, it’s because I didn’t want him getting hurt. He’s so fragile, and I didn’t know if you would…’ she stopped and swallowed, unable to meet his eyes as he completed the thought for her. She hadn’t known if Luke would remember his own son, and if he hadn’t, that would have probably hurt the child beyond words. Luke didn’t like it, but he understood. ‘How old is he?’ ‘Almost three,’ she answered. ‘I’ve almost told you a thousand times, but I was afraid to. After a while, it almost seemed easier to forget about him just for a little while, just long enough for us to fall in love again. I thought if you could accept me as your wife, it would make it easier for you to accept Jack as your son. Does that make sense, Luke, or do you hate me for this?’ ‘I don’t hate you,’ he reassured her. He couldn’t.
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